An Overview of Breaking the Square
November 19, 2007 | by brett | Permalink
Tell me if you would read this book given the following overview…
During the summer of 2007, four college graduates set out across the country to find out what makes people passionate. 16,000 miles, 175 interviews, 500 hours of video and 10,000 photographs later, Breaking the Square is the synthesis of what they have learned both professionally and personally. Breaking the Square is about disrupting the ubiquitous monotony of the corporate, college educated, middle class working world. This book offers advice gleaned not from captains of industry, but rather ordinary people who have found a career they love. It is offered to anybody who feels corralled down an already beaten path, anyone who feels trapped by the limitations of their own existence.
This is the story of Breaking the Square.
If you like this, please pass it along to an agent, publisher, or a friend and tell them to contact us to see our full book proposal. It’s time we did something with our work. Thanks.
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THERE ARE 3 RESPONSES TO THIS INTERVIEW
Katie Konrath Says:
November 19th, 2007
I have a couple grammar edits that will make the whole thing flow more:
“Breaking the Square is about disrupting the ubiquitous monotony of the corporate, college educated, middle class working world. ”
This is where you lost me. The reading level of that sentence is too high to appeal to a majority of readers, and makes it sounds like a dissertation. People won’t buy it because it would look too academic, instead of the very cool, inspiring trip you guys took.
Also, “what makes people passionate” sounds vaguely naughty. You should specify “about their lives/jobs/whatever”.
“What they have learned” is the perfect tense–which normally isn’t necessary. Take out “have” to make the sentence stronger.
I would switch around the sentence “This book offers advice gleaned not from captains of industry, but rather ordinary people who have found a career they love.” because you want to put your strong points first, instead of leading off with a negative. Potential readers will be much more likely to feel positive about buying your book if the sentence starts by saying what it includes. Also, I’d drop “gleaned”. It’s a fancy word that people don’t say much in ordinary life, and the sentence is tighter without it.
Finally, “It is offered to” is passive-sounding. Make it a strong statement that “BTS is for…” That way, you’re specifying that the book is for sale and will benefit the following people, as well as forging a stronger connection with the title for potential buyers. “Offered” could mean that you’re giving the book away.
The book sounds really exciting… best of luck with it! I’ve been following your travels for a while, and think that people will have a lot to learn from the book.
brett Says:
November 19th, 2007
Thank you so much for the edits!!
steve Says:
November 20th, 2007
I can’t really give literary advice, although I do agree with Katie up above. Most good reading is written at the 7th grade level, so I have heard. But I do think it will be a good book. Make it easy to read and hard to put down, not a literary masterpiece.
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